New Supply

Well, to my relief - in the oddest of ways, I learned that my NPD man has moved on to his next supply source. They are going away together for the weekend.  He was on the dating sites for a really short time and so this is not unlike what I could predict to be the behavior of a person with NPD.  In fact, I think that my need to be right about this diagnoses has just been validated.  The first genuine validation I have had thus far.  The divorce papers ironically were going to be served this weekend - never mind the ink not dry - it isn't even sighed yet. How do I feel right now?  Actually, surprisingly good.  He will do lots of great things with the new gal and she will have a wonderful time. Maybe he can find happiness in her - we all deserve it.

I feel a sense of guilt removed.  Burden gone.  When I saw his eyes the other day, they were blank.  There was nothing in them.  Maybe now, I can stop trying to save us.  I know how he is in life.  I can leave this alone and not push anymore.  He is incapable of meaningful relationships.  They will have so much fun.  I hope that she enjoys herself. She will soon enough feel his wrath.  I hope she is stronger than me.  He Needs a companion and adoration comes quickly and fluidly.  I can see the rewrite of my life in her eyes and I have never met her. He will cast a spell on her. I pray with all my heart for the girl.

I partially can't breathe.  I am partially elated.  I am numb and have a headache but I had that while waiting because I knew that he was up to something.  Ah thank goodness - I am okay.

Goodbye and hello.  I dunno  - but that part of closure I am okay with.