Back in the Trap. Out babe.

I am such an idiot. 

Back in the trap again - the one where he says something stupid and I have such a verbose need to strike back.  I know it.............I hit, bit, snipped at the buttons that he left dangling for me.  One bit of emotion, withdrawl of affection - you deserve it, no you don't ................he is in the cycle.

Which translates in real terms to " I am in the cycle".

So now that I am in it, I get to decide.  Do I want to play or do I want to stop responding all together.  Look, if he needs to feel like he has the upper hand - let him think that way.  So what.  It doesn't have to affect you if you don't let it. 

He was an abusive man and he knows how to play the game.  You are wanting, as usual, to change the mind of a man who isn't capable of changing his tactics.  You keep wanting him to react like a normal person would. He can't.  He can't - and I repeat again - He CAN'T............and no amount of compassion will ever stop him from creating drama in your life.  You are the only one who can end the drama. 

He is in Cycle. You don't have to be.  You don't have to react or lower yourself - he doesn't and won't get it.
Not today, tomorrow - never.

In just a few short weeks ....................this will all be done. You won't have to worry about being nice or being kind, or being afraid.

Almost there.